Part 1: The Hierarchy
Written by Anne K. Lynch with Rev. J. Cody Nielsen
I. Introduction
Anne: Tonight,
we begin an experiment. For our next two worship services, we will be preaching
a duet, attempting to address an enormously complicated subject: masculinity,
femininity, and our faith. We live in a cage, a power structure based on a
gender binary, and we are beginning to realize that the cage is not so much a
dichotomy as we have long assumed.
Cody: We
will attempt to climb this mountain, to start a discussion few in the Church or
outside of it are willing to address seriously. We will get lost, we will fall,
we will scrape our knees and drop things precious to us—and for this we are
sorry—but we will begin the conversation. We will strive to have compassion for
voices other than our own, even if we do not understand what is being said. For
we are a community of faith based in the redeeming love of Jesus the Christ.
And with that, let our journey begin…
II. Experience
Anne: I’m
eight! I love my third-grade teacher, she’s so cool! We’re learning U.S.
History right now! The Revolutionary War, Abraham Lincoln is cool, and next
we’re learning about someone named Martin Luther King, Jr.! Are there kings in
the United States?
Cody:
Founding Fathers. A man who saved the Union. Men change this country and men change the world.
Anne: Huh… Where
are the girls?
Cody: There
aren’t any. They aren’t important.
Anne: I’m
thirteen and I’m scared. My sister just told me about sex—the first time I’ve
ever talked to anyone about sex—and she told me about how boys rape girls.
Rape. How could someone do that? I thought I could trust my guys.
Cody: You
should be scared. Never forget this: That every boy or man you ever trust or
care about, they can destroy you. They have power over you. You will know this
in every fiber of your being every day for the rest of your life.
Anne: But
I’m not weak! I might be awkward, and pimply, and hormonal, and maybe I don’t
fit in with the other girls but I—
Cody: You
look like a boy. You’re ugly. Don’t forget your place.
Anne: I’m
not here for you to look at!
Cody: You’re
a girl, and you are here for men to look at whether you like it or not. You
keep your head down and let the men figure things out. The only power you have
is in your inferior sexuality—but only heterosexuality—and maybe your ability
to cook, so go make me a sandwich.
Anne: I’m
sixteen—no, I’m twenty-one!—and I’m angry! I’m not meat and I’m not property,
so stop looking at me like that! Don’t touch me!
Cody: You are
small! You are quiet! No one cares about what you want in life because men are
just going to take it from you, get there first, beat you up! Get too uppity,
honey, and you could get hurt.
Anne: Shut
up! I may be small on the outside but I am a juggernaut inside so—
Both: Don’t
talk to me like that!
Anne: Let’s
talk about you!
Cody: I’m
seven. Somebody called me a mean name at school and I cried in the bathroom.
Anne: Boys
don’t cry. Don’t be weak.
Cody: But it
really hurt my feelings.
Anne: Boys
don’t have feelings. Boys play sports
and grunt and beat each other up. Stop crying, weakling!
Cody: I’m
fifteen... I’m not big on sports. The football players shove me into the
lockers in front of a girl I really like.
Anne: Girls don’t like guys who aren’t big and strong. Who
are you to think anyone wants to be with you?
Cody: I’m twenty-four. I have this girlfriend… we’re thinking
about getting married. I haven’t had sex with her yet.
Anne: Why? Just sleep with her. You don’t want to
make a life long commitment. Why do you think people are less happy after
marriage? If it doesn’t work out, there’s always another girl.
Cody: Leave me alone!
Both: Do we
see the problem here?
Anne:
Patriarchy. Sexism. This is a hierarchy that gives primary authority and
privilege to the male and the masculine in all aspects of community and
society, from politics to morality to economics to language. And by definition,
this requires the oppression, suppression, submission of what is seen to be
opposite—that is, the female and the feminine—to the masculine. Sounds like
idolatry to me to bow down to any master besides God herself.
Cody: And
don’t tell me it’s not real, don’t tell me it’s no big deal, because I have
seen too many little boys emotionally beat to bits by their fathers and
brothers and mothers and sisters. I have known too many girls (and boys!)
attacked by somebody who’s more proud of his penis than his brain.
Anne: I’ve
heard too many men told that feminine is weak so often that they actually
believe it. I’ve heard secrets and seen patterns so delicate and subtle and
manipulative that even the most liberal-minded man is blind to how little his
actions match his words when it comes to treating both sexes fairly.
Cody: I am
in a field where my power is based more on my sex than on my ability. Where my
privilege is a weight I never asked for, yet causes harm no matter what I do.
Anne: I am
going into a field where an ordained sister has been harassed, a man grabbing
her by the very collar that declares, “I am here to help, thanks be to God!”
and taken the beating of his supposed superiority. In which a pregnant minister
was asked not to perform communion because her sacred state made her “too powerful.”
Cody: Don’t
you look at me like we aren’t swimming in a radioactive soup of sexism.
III. Reason
Cody: Sexism
in our culture today gives us rules. These rules state that if society labels
you “woman,” you must be perfect. You must be perfectly groomed, perfectly
sexy, perfectly domestic, perfectly modest, perfectly mothering, perfectly
emotionally balanced, and don’t you dare be powerful. If you are perfect, then
maybe, just maybe, you can be considered to be almost as good as a man. But
then, look at how we treat Hilary Clinton.
Anne: These
rules state that if society labels you as “man,” you must be strong. No
feelings. No kindness. No fear. No vulnerability. Only power. Because to be a
man is to be in control, to be powerful, to put women in their place. And from
rape culture[1]
to healthcare[2] to equal pay[3]
(well, lack thereof) to political representation[4]
to comic books, that is exactly what we’re doing.
Cody: Here’s
the problem. The roles we are told to play in a sexist society are false hopes.
They are idols we are told to emulate, but idols can never fulfill us.
Anne: The
work of Brené Brown, a shame and vulnerability researcher, points to the fact
that living into the roles of sexism lead to an “unbearable” state of being.
“Women are exhausted,” she writes, “[they are beginning to] clearly see that
the expectations are impossible.”[5]
Pursuing those expectations will not earn us fulfillment in absence of
equality.
Cody:
Meanwhile, “Men feel increasingly disconnected, and the fear of failure becomes
paralyzing.”[6]
Nonetheless, we together continue to insist that masculine is better than
feminine. We continue to insist that once assigned a sex at birth, your destiny
is written.
IV. Scripture
Both: But
we’ve got news for you!
Anne: We are
Christ-followers. And that Christ we follow was not about sexism. That Christ
we follow was not about this person is better than that person.
Cody: That
said, Christ might have been about saying this person is equal to that person, and that can rile people up.
Anne: Just
look at our scriptures, look at the Gospels. In particular, look at the story
of “Mary, called Magdalene.” Now some of you might have heard she was a
prostitute, and while Jesus certainly ministered to prostitutes, the scriptures
don’t say that Mary is one—although she had her demons. No, she and other women
with her traveled with Jesus and the disciples in ministry, “providing for them
out of their resources.”
Cody: Now
here’s a question to consider: Since when did women in ancient Israel have
resources? Since when did women 2,000 years ago have the right to travel at
all? With men that weren’t their husbands?
Anne: Israel
was no egalitarian society when it came to the sexes. Women were shamed and
controlled—having little ability to move about freely, much less possess
“resources” to contribute to a religious movement. Jesus did something
incredibly radical by including women in his ministry team. (If you’re not
convinced, in the story of Mary and Martha, we hear Jesus calling Martha—the
dutiful sister tending to the domestic needs of her family and guests—to join
Mary in listening to his message, bringing her into the ministry instead of
letting the dominant culture’s expectations rule the day.) The apostles, too,
did something remarkable in following in the footsteps of someone who so
challenged the sexist assumptions of their society.
But
most especially these women themselves called to question the patriarchy of
ancient Israel. In fact, Mary called Magdalene was the first to preach the good
news, the resurrection of the once-dead messiah. It is in her footsteps every
disciple in Christianity’s history walks, including us. She who was an
outcast—a woman controlled by society—broke free of those chains and did a most
powerful thing. And she was the first of many women the lead in the early
community.
V. Tradition
Cody: Women
were fully involved among the followers of The Way. Understanding the Greek
used our earliest Christian writings—those epistles of Paul—and the Hellenistic
context of the early community, scholars can recognize that before even Paul
rose to authority as an apostle, women across the Mediterranean were
missionaries, hosts of house-churches, prophets, and on equal standing with
Christian men.
Anne: While
the English translations of our sacred texts often communicate otherwise, the
original Greek challenged androcentrism (that is, the way a culture and
language can perpetuate sexism).[7]
Greek words that describe men as missionaries and co-workers to Paul are also
used to describe women in the same letters. However, the terms are often
translated differently in English, without much consideration to scholarship
about the actual environments of these early churches.[8]
Cody: We
read our own standards on to our predecessors to justify our own sexism, both
explicit and subtle.
As
the church became increasingly institutionalized, however, it began to more
closely resemble the overriding culture in which it existed, justifying
patriarchy with the language of romantic love and domesticity.
In turn, the church resembled
the radically inclusive ministry of our Christ less and less. Women’s liberation
in the religious movement was beginning to attract threats from the
powers-that-be… That’s how it started.
Anne: It
started with women being told to act within the culture’s limits so as to
protect the religious movement from persecution, to protect Christian survival.
Both: But
repeat a lie enough, and it begins to sound like truth.
Anne: The
oppression of women has existed outside of Christianity, of course. “According
to Peter Sterns, women in pre-agricultural societies held equal positions with men;
it was only after the adoption of agriculture and sedentary cultures that men
began to institutionalize the concept that women were inferior to men.”[9]
That institution was very well established by the time Jesus showed up on the
block, and women within the Way had such a relatively short experience of
equality. Within about three hundred years, the amount of time it took for
Christianity to go from persecuted radicals to the empirical standard, women
were once again marginalized and treated as less than human.
Cody: Within
Methodism specifically, the historical record of how women is a little fuzzy.
Well, really, suffice it to say it’s rarely been much of an improvement to the
culture surrounding a local church’s location even though women have felt the
call to ministry since the early days in England. It wasn’t until 1956 that
women won acknowledgement of their right to be clergy in the denomination.[10]
Nowadays, there are thousands of women fully involved in all levels of the
denomination, from committee chairs at the local church to pastors to
administration to bishops. That said, like many contexts today, it’s not a 50%
deal. Compared to the thousands of years of subjugation the feminine has
experienced in ancient and Western cultures, our current movement for equality
is barely a blip in human history… a radical thing, really.
Anne: Here’s
the thing: Freedom fighters have discovered time and time again that the
oppressor in any system of power is also
oppressed by their own power-system. “Shame,” study shows, “is highly
correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders,
and bullying.”[11] The only
way to combat shame, however, is by practicing authenticity, vulnerability, and
empathy, the necessities of what Brown calls a “wholehearted life.”[12]
Anne: Which,
of course, is really difficult, especially for men living in a world that beats
the tar out of them for even admitting they have feelings, weaknesses, or
struggles. And, of course, living authentically, vulnerably, and empathetically
emulates the life of Jesus. Go figure.
Basically, for as long as women have been oppressed by the hierarchy
of sexes “putting them in their place,” so have men been oppressed by the very
system that prioritizes their power.
A
friend of ours posted[13]
on Facebook earlier this week, and with apologies to Audrey Krumbach, we are
stealing it because her timing was just perfect: “Patriarchy's biggest lie [is
that] in order for one to be strong, the other must be weak. Feminism scares
[the] hierarchy because [feminism] suggests that the strength of women might
encourage men also to be strong and self-defined. Or some men might claim
another image, or [they] might claim… peacemaking skills, but the gendered
expectations will be exploded so men can be anything…
Both: If
little girls can grow up to be prime ministers and astronauts and welders, so
can boys! If girls can grow up to be teachers and nurses and fashion designers,
so can boys!” And by God, let it be!
VI. To Be Continued…
Anne: Our
God calls us to challenge this status quo. Jesus, the Christ’s, radical call
for inclusion, hospitality, and true love based on equality and respect, that’s
what we follow. It’s not easy; there are a lot of idols out there and our
society is incredibly talented at manipulating us with anything from ads to
misperceptions to skewed facts to subtle patterns of behavior.
Cody: But why settle for anything less when you follow a
savior and God willing to die on a cross in solidarity with our sufferings?
Both: We
will continue this conversation next week.
[1]
http://www.gophoto.it/view.php?i=http://theenlivenproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/rapist_visualization_03.jpg
[2]
http://www.healthcare.gov/law/information-for-you/women.html; “Women Pay Lower Health Care Costs. Before the law,
women could be charged more for individual insurance policies simply because of
their gender.” Etc.
[3]
http://www.aauw.org/research/the-simple-truth-about-the-gender-pay-gap/
[4]
http://www.cawp.rutgers.edu/fast_facts/levels_of_office/documents/elective.pdf
[5] Brown, Daring
Greatly, 109
[6] Ibid.
[7] A phenomenon that our society perpetuates today,
androcentrism is the idea the masculine is to be focused on, masculine is
neutral, and masculine is neutral, while feminine is other. It’s why it’s okay
to say “Hey guys!” to a mixed group but not “Hey gals!” It’s kind of like
saying “white” is normal while all non-white races are other.)
[8] Elisabeth Schüsslet Fiorenza, ‘Women in the
Pre-Pauline and Pauline Churches,’ Union
Seminary Quarterly Review 33 (3 and 4) (1978)
[9] Wikipedia (hahaha!)
[10] http://archives.umc.org/interior.asp?mid=1021
[11] Brown, Daring
Greatly, 73
[12] Ibid, 74
[13] 4/18/2013
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